10 Tips on How to Make Mom Friends [From a Therapist & Mom]
Key Takeaways
Moms face unique challenges when it comes to making friends.
There are plenty of practical strategies you can use to find and strengthen mom friendships.
Therapy for moms can offer personalized support when you’re struggling with loneliness, overwhelm, and burnout.
Becoming a mom changes everything, including how we make friends. As a therapist for moms and a mom myself, I've seen and experienced the difficulties firsthand. Whether it's the daily hustle, the overwhelming prospect of reaching out, or dealing with burnout—especially for single or working moms—the hurdles can seem insurmountable.
Recently, a mom shared her struggles with making new friends during a session. We discussed how it's not just about matching schedules because, let's face it, even when they do align, we're not always up for the outing or the company. It's about connecting with someone who understands the unique highs and lows of parenting, someone who gets us beyond just our role as parents.
I’m Sanah Kotadia, a therapist who focuses on maternal mental health and a mom who’s been in those shoes. I'm here to offer you practical advice for finding and nurturing mom friendships. Using my professional insights and my own experiences, I’ll guide you through simple to more advanced expert strategies that help you build the kind of supportive connections every mom deserves.
10 tips for making mom friends
Forged through shared experiences and challenges of motherhood, mom friendships are a unique and profound sense of connection and support. This guide shares various strategies designed to help moms build meaningful friendships with other moms.
Recognizing that everyone's comfort level and circumstances differ, I've organized these tips by difficulty—from straightforward approaches, you can try today to more involved strategies that tackle common challenges like shyness or making the first move. This way, no matter where you are making with mom friends, there's something here can meet you right where you are.
Beginner tips for making mom friends
Starting the journey to make mom friends doesn't have to be daunting. Here are some beginner steps to help you form connections in a manageable and comfortable way.
1. Search for Mom Groups on Social Media Platforms
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Request to join Facebook groups by searching for mom groups in your area using specific terms such as "moms group + [your city]" on Facebook. For Instagram, explore using keywords related to your interests in the Explore page to find group profiles. Once you find an account that resonates with you, actively engage by commenting on posts or messaging members who share your interests.
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You find a moms group on Facebook for new moms in your city and notice someone posting about toddler-friendly activities. You comment with some of your suggestions and ask for additional advice, sparking a conversation.
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This opens the door to connecting with other moms in similar parenting stages or with similar interests. Sometimes, you will meet new friends in your geographic area, allowing you to move from online interactions to real-life meetups. Regardless of the nature of your interactions, these groups introduce you to a diverse network of women whom you can reach out to when you feel lonely or need a quick laugh.
2. Attend Free Community Events
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Look for bulletin boards online or in libraries and community centers that list free events such as story times, craft hours, or park meet-ups.
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You attend a free story time at the local library and meet a mom with a child the same age as yours. You strike up a conversation about your kids’ favorite books and ask to exchange contact information so you can be sure to hang out at the next one.
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Attending these events gives you a natural setting to meet moms with kids in the same age range, making it easier to find shared experiences and conversation starters.
3. Participate in Virtual Mom Meetups and Workshops
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Look for virtual gatherings specifically designed for moms. These can range from informal virtual chats to more structured workshops focusing on parenting skills or personal development. Websites like Meetup.com or local Facebook mom groups often host such events.
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You join an online workshop about balancing work and motherhood hosted through a well-known parenting blog. During the workshop, you participate in breakout rooms where you discuss your experiences and challenges with other moms. This shared experience leads to forming connections with several women who understand your struggles and victories.
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Virtual meetups and workshops provide a safe, accessible space to connect with other moms without the pressure of arranging in-person logistics. They can be especially valuable for moms who may feel isolated or live in remote areas. Plus, these online events often feature discussions on relevant, widespread topics, which can help deepen the connections you make.
Intermediate tips for building mom friendships
As you grow more comfortable with initial interactions, these intermediate strategies can help you foster deeper connections and possibly cultivate close friendships with other moms.
4. Join a Local Playgroup
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Perform a quick Google search or check community boards for local parks and playgroups. These are often organized by age, making it easier to find groups with children the same age as yours.
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You join a playgroup for parents with young babies and decide to attend a weekly meet-up at a nearby park. While the babies play, you engage in small talk with other parents, which leads to discussions about shared interests or challenges.
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Regularly attending playgroups allows you to see the same set of parents frequently, which naturally gets you out of your comfort zone to develop deeper relationships over shared experiences and ongoing conversations.
5. Attend Birthday Parties or Organize a Simple Event
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Make an effort to attend birthday parties or other essential events your kids are invited to, or consider organizing a simple event like a group playdate yourself.
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You attend a birthday party and see it as a perfect opportunity to chat with other parents. Feeling inspired, you later organize a casual playdate at the local park. You invite a few moms from the party and their kids, facilitating a relaxed environment for everyone to mingle.
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Regular participation in these events shows other parents that you’re interested in being part of the community. Organizing an event yourself can also position you as a proactive and welcoming figure, making it easier for other moms to approach you and build deeper connections.
6. Attend “Mommy and Me” Classes or Play Cafes
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Search online for "mommy and me classes" or "play cafes" in your area. These venues are specially designed for parent-child activities and are great for meeting other moms.
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You visit a local play cafe with your toddler for the first time. While your child explores the play area, you strike up a conversation with another mom watching her child from the sidelines. Your chat about all things mom life ends with talk of meeting up for future play dates!
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Play cafes are easygoing environments that facilitate natural, casual conversations between new moms as they watch their kids play, making it easy for them to form new connections.
Advanced strategies for making mom friends
These strategies are for when you're ready to push past your comfort zone and take proactive steps to forge deeper connections with fellow moms. Whether you're overcoming shyness or looking to cement your acquaintances into lasting friendships, these tips can guide you.
7. Initiate a Coffee Date After School Drop-off
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If you often see or engage in small talk with the same mom during daycare drop-offs and want to get to know her better, consider suggesting a coffee run afterward. It’s a casual way to connect without the pressure of a long commitment.
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One morning, after a brief chat about how hectic mornings can be, you suggest, "I’m about to grab a coffee to survive the rest of the day. Would you like to join me?". You end up going for a refreshing break together or at least swap contact information for a rain check!
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This type of invite provides a relaxed environment for a conversation that goes beyond small talk, helping transition from mere acquaintances to potentially good friends. Even if you're unable to make it happen the first time around, you're putting yourself out there and building a foundation for a friendship.
8. Connect Over Your Kids' Interaction
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If you notice your child and another mom’s child playing well together during school activities, use this as an opportunity to strike up a conversation with the mom. You might say something like, "Our kids seem to really hit it off. Would you and [child’s name] like to join us for a playdate sometime?"
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At the park, you see your toddler and another child laughing together. You approach the child’s mom with a smile, commenting on how well the kids are getting along. You exchange names and chat about your children’s interests before suggesting a future meet-up.
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Using your children's interactions as a conversation starter naturally bridges the gap between you and other moms. It also sets a foundation for a friendship built on the mutual interest of your children’s happiness and social growth.
9. Initiate a Walking Group for Moms
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Start a walking group by posting an invitation in your local mom’s group online or at community centers. Set a regular time and meeting place, and keep it consistent.
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You post on a local Facebook or neighborhood group, "Starting a mom's morning walk every Tuesday. Would love some company to chat and get some exercise!" The first few walks might be small, but as regulars attend, more moms join, looking to combine fitness with friendship.
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Regular walking groups create a routine and inviting setting for busy moms to connect and chat side-by-side, which can be less intimidating than a face-to-face meetup. Not only do these gatherings provide a reason to get outside and stay active, but they also allow moms to bring their kids along, making walking groups an achievable win-win.
10. Address Social Anxiety Head-On
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If social anxiety is holding you back, consider strategies to address it directly, such as role-playing common social interactions with a therapist or partner, or practicing mindfulness techniques before social events.
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Feeling nervous about attending the next PTA meeting, you practice some calming techniques and prepare a few conversation starters the night before. At the meeting, you feel more prepared and manage to initiate conversations with a fellow mom or two.
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By confronting and managing your anxiety, your increased confidence in social settings can make you more approachable, leading to more spontaneous interactions and potential friendships.
Overcoming obstacles
Diving into the world of making mom friends can sometimes feel as daunting as the parenting journeyitself. From sleep deprivation to new responsibilities (not to mention taking on those endless responsibilities while sleep-deprived!), it's no surprise that loneliness tends to settle in.
Many moms find the social isolation inherent in mom life intensifies these challenges. It's easy to feel too busy, too tired, or too overwhelmed to even think about making new friends. And let's face it, the fear of rejection can be real—even if a mom says no to a meetup, it's rarely personal. Remember, every effort you make puts you one step closer to forming meaningful connections. If a planned playdate falls through, don’t get discouraged. Each interaction lays a foundation, and those foundations can become lasting friendships with persistence.
Keep pushing forward, knowing that every mom out there shares some of these feelings. Sometimes, just showing up is the biggest step you can take. Having a network of support not only makes parenting more manageable but also helps buffer against the stress of these challenges, making these connections invaluable.
Finally, don't forget about your non mom friends in the process. Get familiar with the troubling feelings that tend to set in when you start to feel lonely. Know that sometimes you just need to reach out to your already close friends to refill your social wellness cup, even if your priorities and lifestyles look different now.
Final thoughts on how to make friends as a mom
Becoming a mom often means redefining our social circles, and this blog has outlined several strategies to help you do just that. From engaging on social media to participating in meetups, we've covered a range of methods for making and strengthening mom friendships that provide essential social support.
However, the journey doesn't always stop at building connections. The loneliness and other challenges accompanying motherhood are often best mitigated through both these new friendships and professional support. As a therapist specializing in maternal mental health, I offer postpartum counseling and therapy for moms in Houston. My goal is to help you find balance in motherhood, manage the intricacies of maintaining healthy relationships, and build a sustainable support system.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or isolated, you’re not alone. Contact me today, and let’s work together to strengthen your support network and enhance your well-being as a mom. Visit Balanced Mind's Therapy & Coaching to learn more about my virtual therapy services for moms in Texas.