Do I Have Relationship Anxiety Test
Find Out if You Have Relationship Anxiety
Hi, I'm Sanah. I'm an anxiety therapist in Houston and the owner and founder of Balanced Minds Therapy. I specialize in helping people heal from anxiety related to people-pleasing, perfectionism, and poor boundaries—all of which can contribute to (and result from) anxiety in relationships.
I created this quiz to help you understand whether you struggle with relationship anxiety. While this term isn't a mental health diagnosis, it can often go hand-in-hand with generalized anxiety disorder, trauma, and more.
After taking my "Am I insecure in my relationship?" quiz, you'll have a clearer picture of your relationship patterns. From here, I hope you'll feel empowered to take the steps you need to have healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Who is this quiz for?
This quick relationship anxiety test is for anyone who's wondering whether they struggle with relationship anxiety. It won't provide a diagnosis or replace working with a mental health professional, but it can give you insight into any patterns of insecurity you may experience in relationships.
How accurate is this quiz?
I believe that free tools like this can help people learn more about themselves and their mental health. At the same time, it doesn't replace consulting with a therapist. However, it can give you a picture of whether you struggle with anxious thoughts and low self-esteem, as well as how these factors impact your relationships.
Take my "Do I have relationship anxiety?" quiz ⬇
Read each question carefully and take note of which answer resonates most with you. You can keep a mental tally of your answers or jot them down in the notes app on your phone or even on a piece of paper. At the end of the quiz, I'll offer my insight based on your answers.
Let's dive in.
1. How do you feel when you spend time away from your partner?
A - I feel anxious and insecure when we're not together.
B - I miss them, but I can usually comfort myself until we're reunited.
C - I enjoy having my personal space and I'm excited to see my partner when we're together again.
2. How do you react when your partner doesn't respond to your text message?
A - I feel really nervous and I continue reaching out until I hear from them.
B - It can put me on edge, but I can usually be patient while I wait for their reply.
C - I don't think too much about it. I understand that they're probably busy.
3. How often do you seek reassurance about your partner's feelings for you?
A - Often. I like to be constantly reminded that they care.
B - I enjoy getting reassured by them, but I don't ask about it that frequently.
C - Rarely. I know that they care about me, and I feel secure in our connection.
4. How do you feel when you and your partner disagree?
A - I hate having conflict with my partner. It makes me worry that our relationship is broken.
B - I don't like fighting with them and it can put me on edge, but I can generally manage these feelings until we resolve things.
C - I know that conflict can be part of a healthy relationship, and I feel confident that we can work through any disagreements together.
5. Do you feel like you can be your authentic self in your current relationship?
A - I want to, but I struggle to be vulnerable with my partner because I'm terrified of rejection.
B - I can sometimes be my true self, but other times I get too nervous.
C - I feel comfortable being my authentic self and trust that my partner will accept me for who I am.
6. Do you tend to put your partner's needs before your own?
A - Yes. I constantly worry that they will leave me if I don't do enough for them.
B - Sometimes. I tend to give more than receive, but I'm mindful of my own needs, too.
C - I put my partner first when I have the mental and emotional capacity, but I don't sacrifice my well-being just to make my partner happy.
7. Would you describe yourself as jealous?
A - Yes. I'm scared that my partner will find someone better than me.
B - I can be jealous sometimes, but I can usually check this feeling.
C - No, not really. I feel confident that my partner cares about me and that we'll respect the boundaries of our relationship.
8. When your partner does something that bothers you, how do you react?
A - I usually sweep it under the rug until it comes out in ways that I don't intend. I'm worried that if I bring it up, they'll leave me.
B - It depends. Sometimes I bite my tongue and sometimes I'll address it.
C - I communicate it in a calm, respectful way so my partner can understand my feelings and how their actions affect me.
9. How do you react when your partner is in a bad mood?
A - It puts me on edge. I feel like it's my responsibility to "fix" their feelings.
B - I don't like to see my partner upset. It can make me feel uncomfortable and I might ask them about it, but I usually won't press if they want space.
C - I understand that their feelings are their own responsibility. I'm here to talk if they need me, but I wait for them to express what they want and need.
10. Do you struggle to trust your partner?
A - Yes. Even if they haven't done anything wrong, I have a hard time truly believing that they love me.
B - Sometimes. I may feel insecure from time to time, but other times I can reassure myself.
C - No. If they've earned my trust, I feel confident that they will respect that.
Breaking down your results
If you answered mostly A's, it's likely that you struggle with relationship anxiety.
At the same time, answers of B's or C's don't necessarily mean that you never experience trust issues or insecurity in your relationship. We all have relationship challenges from time to time. Even a fulfilling relationship can come with conflict, stress, and other issues.
Answering mostly A's may indicate that your level of anxiety in relationships can profoundly impact you and your partner. These patterns can even show up in platonic relationships. Regardless of the setting, your relationship anxiety may make it difficult to trust your partner, have emotional intimacy, and feel secure.
This can be incredibly painful and isolating. Thankfully, it is possible to overcome relationship anxiety.
My thoughts on overcoming relationship anxiety
As a therapist, I'm passionate about helping people who experience relationship anxiety. Through my work with clients and my own personal healing journey, I've seen firsthand how therapy can help you break the cycle of constantly worrying about how your partner feels and what they think about you.
Through therapy, you'll be able to grow your self-esteem and your own sense of identity. By breaking deeply ingrained patterns of people-pleasing, you'll build your ability to meet your own needs, which will help you rely less on your partner. Interdependence is important, but using your partner as your only sense of validation and self-worth can take a toll on your relationship (as well as your relationship with yourself).
If you're ready to see what talk therapy can do for you, I invite you to reach out. I help people across Texas get to the root of their anxiety and find more ease and connection in their daily lives. If you want to heal your relationship anxiety for good, I'm here to help.
I’m Sanah, LPC, NCC & I help moms reclaim their mental health.
Hello and welcome! I focus on therapy for moms who are struggling with burnout and are overwhelmed due to patterns of people-pleasing and perfectionism.
It is possible to shift these patterns and embrace all parts of yourself–even the messy ones. I provide online therapy throughout the state of Texas and online coaching nationwide. Get in touch here.