7 Ways to Start Healing Intergenerational Trauma
Takeaway: Difficult past experiences can have a lasting impact that goes beyond any one individual. Families can be affected by trauma for generations. While the effects can be painful, it is possible to heal. I’ve seen it firsthand in my role as a therapist. In this post, we’ll review some expert tips for how to heal generational trauma so you can start breaking the cycle.
Understanding intergenerational trauma
Intergenerational trauma is exactly what it sounds like: trauma that spans across generations. It was first studied in the 1960s with a group of adult children whose parents were Holocaust survivors. Since then, research has expanded to include all kinds of different historical trauma.
The mechanisms behind intergenerational trauma are complex. It's likely that there are epigenetic factors, which means that a person's DNA literally changes in response to traumatic events.
Trauma also changes the way we relate to others, view ourselves, manage emotions, and see the world in general. Understandably, this can extend to parenting styles as well. A parent who has survived a traumatic event may show up differently than a parent who hasn't experienced trauma.
There are also a number of other biological, emotional, familial, and cultural components to this equation. The important part is acknowledging that transgenerational trauma is real, and you can experience trauma symptoms even if your family members were the ones who survived a particular event.
Symptoms of generational trauma
Intergenerational trauma can show up differently. Sometimes, the symptoms are similar to classic post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Other times, people may experience complex symptoms that they may not recognize as a trauma response.
Here are some examples of how intergenerational trauma may affect you, based on research and what I've seen in my work with my therapy clients.
Perfectionism
People-pleasing behaviors
Trouble setting boundaries
Relationship problems
Mental health concerns like anxiety and depression
Enmeshed identity with one's parents
Catastrophic thinking
Sleep problems, including nightmares
Physical symptoms, including headaches and stomach problems
Keep in mind that these are just a handful of examples.
How to heal generational trauma: 7 tips to try at home
If you resonate with the concept of intergenerational trauma, you might be wondering what you can actually do about it. After all, the trauma wasn't "yours" to begin with—how can you possibly go about healing from it?
I want to reassure you that these feelings are valid. At the same time, you are a resilient person who holds within you the power to heal. I've seen it both with my therapy clients and through my own lived experience.
While there's no foolproof formula that will guarantee total recovery, there are plenty of steps you can take to move forward and make real change. Here are some strategies that I recommend to my own clients.
1. Learn as much as you can about intergenerational trauma.
Inherited trauma is an intense, complex topic. There's a lot to learn, especially if you're just starting to familiarize yourself with the concept.
While there is no way to learn everything about intergenerational trauma, especially since each person is a unique individual with their own experience, it can still be helpful to gather as much information as you can.
Having a solid understanding of what it means, how it can originate, and what you can do about it can equip you for the healing process. Plus, learning about other people's experiences can be incredibly validating.
If you're not sure where to start, check out my blog post about intergenerational trauma books that I recommend.
2. Get support from others.
On a similar note, it can help to connect with others who also experience intergenerational trauma. This could take the form of in-person or virtual support groups, informal healing circles, a social media community, or simply talking to a friend who understands.
Many people with generational trauma fall into a pattern of minimizing their experiences. However, it's important to recognize that your experience is valid and that you're worthy of support.
Trauma is often bred in part from feeling isolated, alone, or disconnected. Speaking with others about how you're feeling and what you're going through is often an essential part of healing.
3. Grow your emotional awareness.
If you've experienced transgenerational trauma, you likely have persistent emotional struggles. Feelings of depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, and anger may be so common that you can't imagine not feeling this way.
Sometimes, we can become fused with our emotions, believing that we are our emotions, rather than a person having feelings. This can make it difficult to regulate our emotions and feel grounded in our daily lives.
If you resonate with this, I recommend starting to check in with yourself frequently throughout the day. You can also grow your emotional awareness through meditation, though this may not feel accessible when you're just starting out.
Begin by simply asking yourself how you're feeling at any given time and truly listen to what your heart has to say. This provides a solid starting point for deeper emotional work in the future.
4. Connect with your roots.
For some people, learning more about your culture and heritage can be a supportive way to heal from intergenerational trauma.
While learning about what your ancestors experienced should not excuse or invalidate any difficult experiences you've had, it can be helpful to understand the context in which you came from.
Connecting with your roots can take on a number of different forms: genealogy research, joining a local affinity group, traveling to the place where your family is from, and more.
5. Take care of your physical health.
Mental health and physical health are inextricably linked. While caring for your body won't make your difficult emotions or challenging experiences go away, paying attention to your physical wellness can be a way to support yourself.
For those of us who struggle with perfectionism as a result of our intergenerational trauma, it can be tempting to fixate on health, body image, and fitness. However, I encourage you to tend to your body in a gentle, caring way.
This could look like taking a warm bath, attending restorative yoga classes, walking in nature, getting a massage, or cooking yourself a favorite meal.
6. Draw on your spirituality.
Religion can be a sensitive subject for some people, especially in the context of intergenerational trauma. Institutions and religious figures can sometimes perpetuate harmful beliefs that leave us feeling guilty and shameful if we identify with anything outside the status quo.
At the same time, it can be empowering to draw upon spiritual practices to heal your wounds. For some, this may consist of developing a new relationship with the religious beliefs of their youth and finding a way to connect with religious teachings that serve you now.
For others, this could consist of finding their own spiritual practices, like meditation, spending time in nature, building community, or engaging in rituals that you find your own sense of meaning within.
Regardless, feeling connected to something larger than yourself can help you find peace.
7. Foster compassion.
Healing from intergenerational trauma can be a challenging, vulnerable, confusing process. While it's completely worth the effort, this doesn't discount the difficulty you might face along the way.
I urge you to be gentle with yourself throughout your journey. Healing isn't linear, and you'll likely experience ups and downs as you learn more about yourself and your experiences.
In addition to finding self-compassion, it can also be helpful to extend your compassion outward. Again, this doesn't mean excusing how you've been treated. Rather, it's about holding space to understand others instead of harboring resentment.
Intergenerational trauma healing through therapy
While these self-help strategies are a helpful way to start, I also recommend working with a mental health professional if you've experienced transgenerational trauma. As you likely know firsthand, the effects of inherited trauma run deep, and you shouldn't have to navigate them on your own.
Getting mental health support can help you make sense of your experiences, change unhelpful thinking patterns, regulate your emotions, improve your relationships, and more. Plus, when you take care of your mental health, you set a precedent for future generations. You're quite literally a cycle breaker.
Not all mental health professionals are versed in complex trauma or intergenerational trauma, so it's important to find a therapist with experience in this area.
Keep in mind that this form of trauma can also look like other mental health issues on the surface (think: depression, anxiety, addiction, eating disorders, and more). However, it's important to treat the underlying cause: trauma.
Break the cycle: start healing generational trauma today.
As the owner and founder of Balanced Minds Therapy, I’m passionate about helping those grappling with the effects of complex, intergenerational, or collective trauma.
Specifically, I specialize in helping people who cope with their family's trauma through patterns of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and poor boundaries.
My virtual therapy room is a space where you can feel seen and supported. Together, we'll process what you've been through and cultivate a deeper, more loving relationship with yourself.
Sound like we're a good fit? Reach out today for your free consultation. I look forward to connecting with you!